Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
