isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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