I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
