I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize