Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
