i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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