Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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