So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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