The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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