just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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