we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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