I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i now understand why vodka
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
