How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
