Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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