my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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