I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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