nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
