i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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