I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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