You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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