I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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