why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
