I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
