You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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