She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How does it feel to date your dad?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
