Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The air was thick with penises
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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