i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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