uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
