i think i have herpe
just one?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
