She just used a chaser for red wine.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
