you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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