Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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