I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
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All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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