So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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