Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
