ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
