Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
