If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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