I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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