Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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