And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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