you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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