just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
