also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
wow bdsm is so cute
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
