listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
