This girl is more easily done than said...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
