oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
