Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
