turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
