just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
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We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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