Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
