after a month anything with tits is on the radar
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
