WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
