Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
