I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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