Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
