i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
