I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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