Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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