Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
