look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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