My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
