How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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