what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
